How to Work in Close Proximity to an Enemy

How to Work in Close Proximity with an Enemy

By MWGrant

A rock through a windshield can make a grudging coworker into an enemy. A mutual love interest can too. Someone not pulling their share of the burden can as well. How then, can one continue to work in close proximity with a coworker-turned-nemesis?

First off, if you are in the wrong, even the most heartfelt apology is a waste of breath. Cool indifference is your best bet. Breathe deeply when they are around; not to take them in, but rather, to keep them out. Out of your mind, away from your thoughts. This is the first step; if you are awkward around them, you will drop things, will make strange comments or will clam up altogether. Don’t let their presence get to you. This is paramount.

Interaction of any form should be limited to short statements and questions, foregoing familiarities such as 'dude’, ‘bro’, 'buddy' or 'brother'. These statements make you out to be a conniving shapeshifter who takes lightly the original offence, rather than the bon vivant “let bygones be bygones” type that you are hoping for. Rather, formal courtesy is what is called for. Nothing more, nothing less.

Learning their schedule helps - if you suddenly become engaged with “other work” during their shifts, and cannot be scheduled, the problem goes away. If this is not an option, then learning their pathways and habitual hangouts is nearly as good. Stay out of their way and expect them to do the same.

However, you will still run into each other a lot, despite your best attempts at keeping a distance. Like two polar ends of a magnet, you will be drawn together time and time again - sometimes actually physically slamming into each other while passing through tight corridors, (which you will both apologize profusely for), or you will be asked to work together on a project more often than probability would allow. This is natural. It will remain so until both of you have let go of your beef. But as long as feelings of hatred or spite exist between you, the rate of your unwelcome interactions will defy the odds.

Allow time to be the pressure hose that cleans the fecal matter from the place of employment you share. Time truly does heal all wounds, and without further aggravation, you both may find yourself drunk after work at the same bar, commenting on a waitress’ skirt and slapping a high five before you even realize who you’re talking to. This, however, is unlikely.

And lastly, remember: Don’t shit where you eat. It’s just not sanitary.